BLACK POLYGAMY!

THIS KENYAN BROTHER TELLS US ABOUT A DIFFERENT KIND OF POLYGAMY THAT WOMEN HAVE CREATED IN KENYA! FROM AFROWRITE.WORDPRESS.COM

Yeye Akilimali Funua Olade — Fri, 30 May 2008 15:14:43 +0000

from afrowrite.wordpress.com

Afrowrite’s Weblog
A site for discussing life, writing and publishing in africa
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Little Known Facts About African Polygamy (And Why Women Promote It)
May 24, 2008 by afrowrite
By Muli wa Kyendo

Today’s post is in reply to Sister Yeye Akilimali Funua Olade who, through an email, told me that she and her friends are promoting polygamy and the greatness of the black race. My dear sister, I read most of your blogs and I must say I am impressed by your enthusiasm, hard work and sacrifice. Although you are an American, in deed you live in the USA, you said you have lived in Nigeria for many years and raised your children there so they could learn the Yuroba language and culture. So I don’t need to bore you with the general details of our life in the East of our Great Continent. But I can assure you, we are a happy lot – happy because our lives are full of “cultural” drama, contradictions, ups and downs, ebbs and flows. As one man said, we take three steps forward and two back, but we are happily moving forward – slowly.

Polygamy

Like in the case of polygamy. Several years ago, my friend and writer David G. Maillu, published a book titled Our Kind of Polygamy to defend this age-old practice. He puts essentially the same arguments as you put – too many women chasing too few men, the right for all women to be married, the right of children to have legitimate fathers and so on. He even adds a manual for polygamous men on how to manage their wives. But I haven’t seen many men (or women) reading or referring to the book here in Kenya. My guess for this is that for us here, we are living that life. Almost every Kenyan lives in a polygamous home, grabbling with its realities - sometimes amusing, sometimes disappointing, and sometimes even grim. So we rarely have time left to think about it!

Let me tell you about our situation - the Kenyan situation. Because in Kenya we have many communities – call them tribes, if you like – Kenyans are always on the look out for a “neutral community” to produce a President. Many are convinced that a community called the Akamba – the fourth largest – would produce a good President. So gentle and “nice” are their men!

In Kenya’s disputed General Elections of December last year, a Mukamba – it means a person belonging to the Akamba community – was, among the Presidential candidates. In my view, he was the least credible. But Kenyans were willing to vote for him. And he would have been the President today if he hadn’t hopelessly bungled up his campaign. Why are the men so hopeless? Because of their women – at least, that it what research facts indicate.

Women propaganda, sticks and carrots

The Akamba men were socialized to worship physical power – fighting, cattle raiding, and so on. The women maintained a closely guarded culture of oppression in which men were excluded from all intellectual activities. The men’s only tasks were to raid cattle and guard the community. When they were not doing that, they were allowed to spend their time drinking beer or socializing. They were excluded from all creative activities where thought and tact would have been necessary. In deed, even in worshipping Mulungu, the Akamba God, the men were excluded. The women had, and still have, their own well organized religion called Kathambi. Their goddess, Kathambi, is the goddess of rain and fertility. The women associated rain and fertility with womanhood. And since men don’t give birth or menstruate, they were deemed incapable of communicating with Mulungu.

Kathambi women congregations

Kathambi is worshipped with Kilumi, a highly rhythmical dance with heavy drumming and which is today regarded the epitome of Akamba dances. It is danced for Presidents and eminent guests at almost all national days in Kenya. When danced during the women worships, the dance sends participants “into other worlds”. And only the women know how to bring those affected back to earth. The result is that many men are awed and fearful of the dance.

The congregation of Kathambi worshipping women is called Ngolano in Kikamba – that is their language - and the congregation is led by woman priestesses (those who have stopped menstruating and giving birth) in shrines called mathembo, composed of thick forests or huge trees.

The women’s system of prayer was - and still is - so elaborate it scared the White missionaries when they arrived in the country.

The Woman of Nzaui

The missionaries immediately “black listed” this women religion. It was their biggest challenge in their recruitment of the Akamba into Christianity. And the women recognized the Whiteman as their new and big enemy. The men were caught in between hate for the Whiteman and hate for the women, even as the fierce battle spread.

The first missionary had been so anxious to set up church in Ukambani – the area where the Akamba live – that he returned to America, put together an organisation he called African Inland Mission (today it’s called the African Inland Church) and return to Kenya armed with cash for the construction of a church. But the women wouldn’t let him construct a church; allowing him eventually to put a church only on a rock (the Church stands at a place called Nzaui even today).

The women, through their great intellectual power - influential poetry and song and sometimes direct confrontation (many of the priestesses were deported to island of Mombasa by the settler Government), continued their anti-colonial campaign, forcing the Whiteman to quit the mainland Ukambani, including Machakos, the town he had planned for the capital city of Kenya, and to move to Nairobi on the periphery.

The earliest Kenyan human rights campaigner

Just to give you a feel for the battle – there was a woman priestess named Syotuna. One day, she came upon a group of young Akamba men carrying a White District Commissioner on a stretcher. There were no roads in most parts of the country yet and stretchers with four hefty young men for bearers were the common mode of travel for European settlers, colonial government officials and White missionaries. Syotuna was so exasperated that she shouted at the young men, “Aren’t you ashamed to carry a man like yourselves!” And to the DC she shouted, “Why can’t you walk? Have you no legs?” The ashamed young men quickly dropped the stretcher and fled into the bushes, leaving the DC stranded.

These words are recorded by the DC who proceeded to deport Syotuna to Mombasa.

Did Women Invent Polygamy?

The Akamba men derided the women with derogatory remarks. The women tried to appease them by making them feel like great kings in their families. The women got men other women to marry for second, third, fourth or just many wives as the first wife wanted. But all these wives had loyalty to first wife, the woman who brought them into the family. Polygamy was therefore a way of women enhancing their power and control over men. (Compare that with the so-called patriarchs of the Old Testament. Women brought their husbands other women for wives and the men accepted without complaint or appreciation).

The result of this arrangement is that the community produces “nice” men, but who are totally unequipped for modern leadership. Generally they lack depth in thought and they are devoid of strategy and tactics, necessary for modern competitive world. My play, The Woman of Nzaui, discusses this issue.

Syokimau Cultural Centre

By the way, we have a not-for-profit membership cultural centre, the Syokimau Cultural Centre, where we are encouraged in promoting research and use of African culture in writing and in government development programmes. It’s named after the most ancient and the greatest of these priestesses (talk of oppression!). It is recognized by UNESCO and the Kenya Government. It will soon launch an e-newsletter to promote its work and to reach our members abroad.

Please let us know whether this has been of any use to you and your group. And let’s increase the debate even we encourage the preservation of the African culture.

Tags: African Polygamy, Akamba, Kenya, polygamy, Worship, Yuroba
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THIS YORUBA(NIGERIAN)ACTRESS WOULDN’T MIND BEING THE 10TH OR 15TH WIFE….FROM PUNCH NEWSPAPER(NIGERIA)

Yeye Akilimali Funua Olade — Wed, 14 May 2008 13:42:05 +0000

from punchng.com

Published 5/10/2008 3:59:00 AM

I wouldn’t have minded a man with 10 or 15 wives–Nike Peller

Adeola Balogun

As a daughter of the late magician, Professor Abiola Peller, Nike Peller, no doubt is a very popular actress especially in the Yoruba genre. However, in an industry where marriages are often the subject of headlines, the light complexioned actress has opted for a quiet marriage.

Her reasons?

“If I should marry a socialite, I suspect it might not work because I know the kind of person I am. You know, being a popular artiste is another kettle of fish entirely. You know too that my father used to be very popular while he was alive. It had really bothered me for a long time but I thank God for answering my prayers with the kind of man he gave me. He is so easygoing, does not want noise and allows me to focus on my job without distraction.”

She said her beau never knew she was an actress before he approached her.

“I must tell you that we just met in a normal way. Funnily enough, he did not know anything about me when we met. Even though I had been very popular on the screen before he met me, he was not aware of anyone called Nike Peller. In fact, when I told him that I was Nike Abiola, he asked which of the Abiolas. Incidentally, he said he was a classmate of my brother, Kayode Abiola Peller. It was later that I told him that I was an actress and he didn’t care. I must tell you that getting someone like that on a neutral level suits my kind of life; it gives me the confidence that he got hooked to me as I am, not because of what I am. You know there are some men out there whose target is to date actresses they watch on the screen and dump them afterwards. They take delight in counting their conquests among the popular artistes around.”

But before she got hooked to her man, Peller told Spectacles that she had about two relationships, which did not work out.

She said, “I would say I had two relationships, one in England and one in Nigeria here. I believe that, perhaps, God did not want them to work. One of the reasons for the break ups was hearsay. You know we are always on locations and when you cannot trust the person you are going out with, the relationship is meaningless. If a man tells you that he is at Oyingbo, believe him if you don’t want to give yourselves unnecessary stress. That was what happened with the guy in England then. For the guy in Nigeria, I think it was more of his family background. He is a Christian while I am a Muslim, maybe his family didn’t want him to get married to a Muslim. But that does not really matter, whether you are a Muslim or a Christian does not really matter, what I want is where I can get happiness. My present man is a Christian but he understands everything about me. We relate like a brother and sister, I am always happy around him. The guy trusts me and I trust him.”

Peller does not mind getting married to a polygamous man so far she is happy.

“As a Muslim, I can get married to someone who has 10, 15 wives so far I am happy with him, it is between him and me. That is no big deal.”

As an actress, Peller does not see any reason why everyone should see women who act as a wayward bunch.

According to her, “I don’t allow this actress thing or stardom to get into my head. Let me tell you something, there are some things I cannot do as an actress because of my name. After my job, the next thing is my home. No matter what, a wife should be submissive to her husband even if she is a millionaire. You know, I am a Muslim and in Islam, you have to submit yourself to your man even if you are the richest woman on earth.”

Sometimes back, his brother who is now a bishop of Fingers of God Ministry, Kayode Abiola Peller dismissed as fake the magic their late father was famous for. He said what his father was doing and which he also practised, was nothing but deception. But Nike would hear none of that.

She said, “He cannot say that because it worked. I would say that my father was only entertaining the crowd in his own way. I am not surprised that you said my brother called my father’s magic fake. He is now a pastor and believes that the old things have gone away. My brother then was involved in it, in fact he was then known as Young Peller. We used to travel together to perform magic everywhere, but now that he is born again, no problem. All what I know is that my father was the greatest man in his lifetime. He was known all over the world because of his wonderful magic. He handled it professionally together with his family.”

After the demise of the late magician, none of his numerous children continued in his line of trade despite the fact that they were all involved in the business while the patriarch was alive. Nike Peller told Spectacles the reason.

“You cannot practise magic all alone. When Professor Peller was alive, most of the children were much younger and it was easy for him to involve us in his trade. It was a family thing. But now, we have grown and are scattered all over the world. That is why it is not easy for any of us to continue. If by tomorrow someone says he wants to start, he will have to recruit either his family, train them or get people around. It is a very serious business. All the instruments are still intact; nobody has touched them. But what I think has happened is that people have moved on, they no longer believe in the stunts. But while the man was alive, he did his best entertaining his fans.”

With her brother, Kayode, the actress told Spectacles that they explored the world of magic before something ugly happened: Their magic failed them and the young Peller got involved in drugs until he got born again. But the actress recalled that it was much fun while the party lasted. She described her father as the best father who made sure that his children enjoyed fatherly love despite being a polygamous man with many children.

“Even if you were not his child, you were treated same way. That is why then, there were so many people, Igbo, Hausa, name it, that my father catered for. He was kind-hearted and generous to a fault. We lived in a very big environment. There was peace in the family. The role Otunba Toyin is playing now is what he inherited from our father; he will call up everyone to find out what is happening to everyone. Otunba Toyin is our first born, he lives in Ibadan. If he is coming now, you will think it is our father that is coming, he so much looks like him,” she said.

Peller has been described as one of the actresses that bleached their skin. But she told Spectacles that those who wrote that did not know her family.

She said, “Thank God you know my brother, the pastor. We are all light skinned in our house. How can anyone say I bleached my skin? I am naturally light in complexion. Those who say I bleached don’t know us. Look at me very well. Do I look like someone who bleached? I don’t know whether you have met someone who bleached, you will see some patches here and there which I don’t have. If they have said I tone my skin, yes, what is wrong in that? It is normal for a light complexioned person to tone her skin a little, which I do.”

Even though she admitted that entertainment flows naturally in every Peller child, Peller told Spectacles that she was taught how to act.

“I started acting while in the primary school. The man that taught me how to sing, dance and act is still alive. He is Mr Dokun Awolere, a newscaster at LTV8, Ikeja. He used to be my teacher in the primary school and I am very proud of him. But coming to acting in the real sense of it, I was in school, Institute of Technology, in Akure in 1987 when a friend of mine asked me to come for auditioning. I told them that I had lectures unless they wanted to shift it for me till weekend. I remember very well that I was paid three thousand naira then because I played the lead role. The film was Aye Lu. I appeared in Mosebolatan by Baba Sala but I was among the crowd. I remember that Baba used to perform magic with Baba Sala then in Ibadan.”

Peller told Spectacles that she worked hard to be in the reckoning of producers, her background notwithstanding. She recalled her journey into the acting world when she met the likes of Alade Aromire, Yinka Quadri and the like.

She said, “I tell people that I was invited to the industry, not that I lobbied or did something nasty to get roles, no. I did not date anyone in the industry. Before I became one of them, I had been close to most of those in charge then. The likes of Oga Bello, who was my in law. Some people did not know that I was not the one married to him, it was my sister, Idiat Peller, though she is late now.”

“CAN POLYGAMY SAVE THE BLACK FAMILY?” FROM DANCEHALLREGGAE.COM

Yeye Akilimali Funua Olade — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 15:06:06 +0000

FROM dancehallreggae.com

CAN POLYGAMY SAVE THE BLACK FAMILY?

CAN POLYGAMY SAVE THE BLACK FAMILY? WHAT IS YOUR HONEST OPINION?

HERE IS AN INTERESTING ANALYSIS:

The African Family Structure

It would be a negligent oversight to examine the Afrikan family structure without making reference to polygyny (the practice of several women joining unto one man), which incidentally was first introduced into ancient societies by the Afrikan Woman. In the old days of Afrika’s glory the woman considered herself nothing without a man to defend her and a man was nothing without a woman and a family to defend. At this time polygyny was generally practiced throughout most of the world, a result of the Black Man’s cultural influence all around the globe. Polygyny or polygamy, as some call it, was adopted by Black Women to ensure every woman in the society having access to a man, whose primary role was protector, guide, provider and keeper of the realm.

As already stated, in these ancient Afrikan societies women were held in the highest honor and respect, the female entity was revered and oft-times worshipped as the Great Mother, Nourisher and Sustainer of life, the source of all terrestrial inspiration and the maintainer of revitalized life. This was the usual way of life in those wonderful days when the Black Man dominated the earth, widespread love, respect and affection was consistently demonstrated by the Black Man to the Black Woman. He delighted in adorning her with gold and silver often rhapsodizing to her in the most beautiful language (perhaps this is why sisters still love to hear a Black Man lay down some good “rap” even unto this day), the norm in ancient Black Society, where each gender clearly accepted and dignified their distinguished roles in the community with mutual affection and respect for one another. In those days of amorous joy Black Women delighted in dancing and singing praises to their men especially after they had returned from the battle (usually in defense of the homeland) or the hunt.

The family practices of the Black Man’s High Culture System began to deteriorate in certain parts of the world namely Europe and northern Asia when the Caucasian appeared on the scene. At first white Europeans with no real culture of their own, other than the insatiable love of warfare, tried to emulate the Afrikan in the practice of polygyny although there was no general change in his attitude regarding the treatment of the Caucasian woman. With the coming of syphilis and its wide-spread infections among the women of his race, which caused the largest percentage of the female population to die out like flies, the nomadic Caucasians leaving their bodies where they fell, the shortage in the already limited female population was intensified so the European shortly returned to monogamy, homosexuality and the wide-spread practice of polyandry - one woman, many men.

In the European custom of polyandry one woman, be she mother, daughter, sister and in some cases a queen, became the wife of as many as ten or more men, included in this group might be her father, her son, her brother, her cousin, her uncle as well as her husband and on certain occasions, at the whim of the family head man she was made available for the pleasure of all the men in the community. The ancient Europeans said their rationale for doing this was an attempt to minimize the constant fighting and bloodletting of rivals over the limited amount of women available.

It was out of this confusion that the patriarchal line of descent and the modern European system of monogamy was born. As a result of eventual European world domination many Black People and other peoples of color have been forced to adopt monogamy and in same cases rape and homosexuality as a cultural frame of reference. Subliminally this is one of the manifold reasons for the many traumatic Black Male-Female relationships in the United States and other parts of the world today. But in spite of this mental conditioning we as a people must join unto our own and through the proper light of understanding correctly put into practice those systems that will prosper and sustain us, insuring Our survival and longevity on the earth.

At this point a word of caution is in order. The above statements of historical fact - and it is an irrefutable fact that the practice of polygyny was the norm for Afrikans before the coming of the European - were not intended to denigrate or condemn those families where the Black Man and Woman mutually prefer a monogamous relationship, rather they have been cited to present the cultural roots, validity and obvious advantages of polygyny for Black families who wish to practice it today. Of course it must be clearly understood, especially by the brothers that this is not something you just up and jump into without careful thought and preparation, for there are great responsibilities involved.

But those Black Men and Women who are serious and adequately prepare themselves through consultation, study and self discipline applying the practice of polygyny on the high spiritual plane of which it was originally developed will eventually become some of the most respected and powerful men and women in the world. It is believed by some Black Scholars who have carefully and painstakingly studied the societal structures of Afrikan People that the correct application of this system could be a mighty key factor in the economic, spiritual, mental and physical survival of Blacks wherever we are in the world today.

One of the main reasons why polygyny was developed and practiced by the ancients was to enhance the economic power of the family, community and nation. Wherein a brother might achieve moderately well in a basic monoganous structure, he could maximize his efforts a hundred fold with the right combination of sister-wives. Bear in mind this idea was first introduced into the community by the women of the society. The biblical story of Jacob, the reputed father of the Israelite nation, mentions his four wives and how the first two brought the latter two into the family. In this present Euro-centric dominated society which is adverse to our very nature, it is somewhat difficult for us to practice those traditions which are more in tuned with our cosmic vibrations. Therefore we must adopt the wisdom of the Kawaida doctrine which advises us to practice “tradition and reason” as we strive to create a new society a better condition and a better world.

There is much truth in the old adage “Where there is a will, there is a way.”
As always it is imperative for us as a people to be constantly advancing in knowledge and understanding ever cultivating the habit of doing those things which contribute to our growth. Above all we must not allow ourselves to become stagnant or we will be like the sitting waters that provide a habitation and breeding ground for blood sucking mosquitoes which can be likened unto our natural enemy hovering overhead, ever ready to feed upon our spiritual being and suck out the life blood of our mind, buzzing about and laying the eggs of his degenerate society. Those brothers and sisters who may react to the above statements out of wild undiciplined emotion instead of the logic and scientific analysis of a sound mind which was originally created and given to you for the purpose of deductive reasoning, we advise; investigate and examine before you rush forward to condemn. Black People must be very certain that the concepts and decisions on the part of both male and female regarding the practice of polygyny are based on knowledge, wisdom, logic and understanding rather than negative emotional reaction.

In light of this let not the white-mindedness that to some degree has infected all of us be a stumbling block to our progress as a race.
In raising this issue we are fully aware that humans tend to see into a concept that which appeals to their own personal desires, therefore we do strongly urge this subject be approached with the right mental and spiritual attitude. For it is our fervent prayer that we as a people may soon move from a position of weak powerlessness to our own proper position of power and strength on the Earth. Again we admonish those brothers and sisters who are desirous of practicing polygyny to study and investigate it well,being certain to properly prepare themselves mentally, physically and spiritually so as to avoid the emotional pain and suffering which is repercussive of incorrect and clandestine dealings.

At all times the brother must be honest, fair, wise and strong in order for the sisters to feel confident and secure in the relationship. In light of the wide percentage gap between the Black Female and Black Male population, particularly in America, sisters should adopt a cooperative spirit, while seeking ways to remedy this situation. Every Black Woman who needs and wants one should have a Black man. Remember the survival of the race is at stake here, not our uncontrolled emotions.

As I review the great benefits of polygyny to our ancient societies I’m inclined, while at the same time considering our present position here in the western hemisphere, to propose that this way of life must be revived and redeveloped in this day but it must be done correctly and in harmony with good principles. There is much information and many living examples of this practice available to those who diligently seek it out. Again let us reaffirm that this subject was not presented to foment consternation or to cause brothers and sisters to throw up their defenses, “jump salty with each other” and become polarized into forming opposing camps but rather as a review and examination of a historical reality which has been a component of the Afrikan way of life from earliest times unto the present. We trust those few who may not be in agreement with us in this matter will not assume a hostile posture and discount all the other points of vital information in this book. And so with undying Black Love for all, ponder it will understand the true spirit in which it was set forth.

Surely the Creator who revealed the divine light of understanding to our Ancestors in the past is the best knower and the best doer. Now let us consider some of the other sharply contrasting, irreconcilable distinctions which eternally exist between the Afrikan and the Caucasian.

http://www.cultural-expressions.com/thesis/polygamy

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09-10-2006, 12:21 PM #2
TriniBandele
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That was a big post.

Afrikan people have been brainwased inro the uncleanly yurugu way of thinking.

Its time to come back to the foundation. I 100% believe in polygamy.When its practiced righteously and morally.

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09-10-2006, 12:40 PM #3
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It’s out dated now … No need for it ..

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09-10-2006, 03:59 PM #4
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I DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT STILL…AS LONG AS ITS DONE WITH RESPECT.

SAME THING WITH THE GYALLICE DEM NOWADAYS…..IF YOU AGO HAVE ONE BAG A WOMAN…AT LEAST DEAL WITH DEM GOOD.
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So we finally find common ground……
09-10-2006, 04:14 PM #5
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So we finally find common ground……

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Big post Jihad…… cant fight yu on this one!

Poligamy or multiple wives are a biblical practice so anything my God endorse mi hafi support…..

Every king should have at least two queens….. stamp out adultry and fornication, man fi have as many wives as he can support…..

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09-10-2006, 04:21 PM #6
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09-10-2006, 04:39 PM #7
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why it can’t be a woman having multiple husbands ?? see,it doesn’t work out

It’s not right…

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09-10-2006, 05:01 PM #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by higherlevels
why it can’t be a woman having multiple husbands ?? see,it doesn’t work out

It’s not right…

Stop being an idiot…… what do you know about right and wrong.

If you want a woman that keeps many men you can get one, nuff a dem out deh.
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09-10-2006, 05:10 PM #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JesusDread
Stop being an idiot…… what do you know about right and wrong.

If you want a woman that keeps many men you can get one, nuff a dem out deh.

why it’s always the man who can have nuff wifes ??

keep it equal and simple yute ..

That system is not good for women,you gotta respect these ladies rasta yute …fulltime now ..

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09-10-2006, 05:16 PM #10
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King of swaziland just got 14th wife…she like 30 years younger than him!
the reasons behind polygamy have been distorted and are now a status thing…nothing against it if its done right tho..
Z

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Yu disappoint mi soldier…. yu a tun fassy pan we now…
09-10-2006, 05:37 PM #11
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Yu disappoint mi soldier…. yu a tun fassy pan we now…

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Quote:
Originally Posted by higherlevels
why it’s always the man who can have nuff wifes ??

keep it equal and simple yute ..

That system is not good for women,you gotta respect these ladies rasta yute …fulltime now ..

I would explain it to you but the mere fact that it needs explaination is evident that it would be lost on you.

Keep believing yu feminist gender bias …. if yu believe you and a woman is equal then maybe you should go get yu a few husbands too…
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09-10-2006, 05:43 PM #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JesusDread
I would explain it to you but the mere fact that it needs explaination is evident that it would be lost on you.

Keep believing yu feminist gender bias fart…. if yu believe you and a woman is equal then maybe you should go get yu a few husbands too…

yeah,this a joke ..yeah the man is used as sperm donor. So poly is just a man thing ?? Why should any woman be in this relationship ?? Enough black babies deh bout. No need for it today.

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09-10-2006, 05:53 PM #13
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Damn, can’t believe JIHAD and JesusDread actually agreeing on something! Nice to see finally!

As a female, I am not sure I would want to be in a polygamous marriage, unless I was wife #1. Can’t tek backseat to no other female. The only way a polygamous marriage could possibly work is if the man can equally divide his time, attention,respect, and affection amongst the wives. There could be no preferential treatment. He would have to be able to financially support and sustain his multiple families, amongst other things. The way the economy is I don’t see that happening, but maybe I am wrong. It is hard enough to sustain one family, much less 3 or 4 families. Besides, I don’t know if any man can equally divide himself amongst more than one wife…..it is hard alone to divide yourself between spouse and child.
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09-10-2006, 05:53 PM #14
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I agree, so long (as stated) it is done with respect and honesty

Quote:
Originally Posted by higherlevels
why it can’t be a woman having multiple husbands ?? see,it doesn’t work out

It’s not right…

Maybe because there are more women than there are men in the world!

and as for the famous old time saying…
a women cannot do what the men do and still be a lady!

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09-10-2006, 05:58 PM #15
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Originally Posted by SLICK
Damn, can’t believe JIHAD and JesusDread actually agreeing on something! Nice to see finally!

idiot ..that makes no sense ..if you don’t respect being a second wife position,you won’t respect the second and third wife

hence you wouldn’t be a good first wife.

I don’t even see how people like you wanna be number 1,when its not something ur use to.

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09-10-2006, 06:01 PM #16
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Originally Posted by civique
I agree, so long (as stated) it is done with respect and honesty

Maybe because there are more women than there are men in the world!

and as for the famous old time saying…
a women cannot do what the men do and still be a lady!

it’s a bad practice in my view. I want to love 1 woman,not 20. In today’s world having 60 children is not really required. It’s almost crazy to even take this seriously.

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09-10-2006, 07:06 PM #17
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Originally Posted by higherlevels
idiot ..that makes no sense ..if you don’t respect being a second wife position,you won’t respect the second and third wife

hence you wouldn’t be a good first wife.

I don’t even see how people like you wanna be number 1,when its not something ur use to.

DUMB ASS learn to read….that is why I said I DO NOT think I would do it.
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09-10-2006, 07:08 PM #18
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Originally Posted by SLICK

DUMB ASS learn to read….that is why I said I DO NOT think I would do it.

why the hell would i read everything if the first part makes no sense ?? think me have time fi waste ? ?

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09-10-2006, 07:13 PM #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SLICK
As a female, I am not sure I would want to be in a polygamous marriage, unless I was wife #1.

Actually, no Slick, you presented a scenario that you would acquiesce to. Higherlevels just pointed out that irregularity, within character of course .

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09-10-2006, 07:31 PM #20
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09-10-2006, 08:27 PM #21
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Originally Posted by higherlevels
yeah,this a joke ..yeah the man is used as sperm donor. So poly is just a man thing ?? Why should any woman be in this relationship ?? Enough black babies deh bout. No need for it today.

This aint just about making babies yute, well maybe in Jihad’s point of view.

This is about family and relationship… isn’t it better to have two or three wives that you love and cherish than be forced to have one and a bag of mateys and one night stands? Dont try and tell me you only a sex one woman and that yu faithful to her… so whose way is better ethically and emotionally?

Sometimes yu fi stop and think outside of the box babylon have yu trapped in yute…

Multiple marriages is approved of by God… go read the bible… but a woman should have only one husband… matter of fact a woman by right should remain a virgin till she’s married but babylon society pressure everybody fi have sex as a casual passtime.

Anyway, gwaan go join yu female harem weh yu wife have 10 husband since yu a advocate equality between man and woman…. clown.
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09-10-2006, 10:47 PM #22
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I think the key issue is not the form of the marriage but the bond between a man and his children, we are lacking that seriously within the black community.

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09-11-2006, 06:12 AM #23
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Polygamy doesn’t work, if it did wouldn’t it be the norm. I also think it makes for jealousy and a mixture of emotions. What kind of example and confusion is it setting for the children involved. The only thing I can see that the guy is gaining out of it is a variety of women to shag. What are the odds of all three of them having a headache one night

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09-11-2006, 06:24 AM #24
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Good point One Shot….if black men (and women) would take care of their resposnibilities to their children, the black community would be better off……I don’t see how being in a polygamous marriage would help that.

Okay, in a polygamous there may be more women around in these children lives, where if one is lacking on their parental obligations, the other “mothers” could pick up the slack, but what about the father? How would he propose to take care of all the children not only financially, but emotionally as well? How can he give those children “normal” lives when he is having to spend other days with his other wives and children? IMO that is no different than men who have a wife, and a woman on the side with a child (of his).

The survival of our race wouldn’t be an issue if people were more responsible as parents. IF you don’t want a child or know that you cannot be a responsible parent, then cover up or protect yourself. Don’t bring children into this world leaving them to fend for themselves.
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09-11-2006, 07:08 AM #25
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Like everything else, polygamy can be abused. We dont need to get into details to explain this but if done with respect and out of love, having two or more wives might mean the end or the drastic diminishing of absent fathers and broken black homes/families. How many kids are now fatherless or only see dad occasionally just because dad had another woman? If polygamy was allowed, many kids would have a father in the home and the benefit of being raised by two or more ‘moms’ instead of one stressed out madda.

I am not saying polygamy is for everyone or should be a requirement, just that it should be allowed for those who are willing to go that route. Almost every man I know have or has had more than one woman at some time or other and the cheating, sneaking around and lying was so unfair and unnecessary… If it wasn’t looked down on by society for a man to have more than one wife/lover a lot of anguish, hurt and jealousy would be eliminated from the black family structure.
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09-11-2006, 08:01 AM #26
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JD
Quote:
If it wasn’t looked down on by society for a man to have more than one wife/lover a lot of anguish, hurt and jealousy would be eliminated from the black family structure.

Do you seriously think there is no anguish, hurt and jealousy in a polygamous relationship?

I think polygamous relationships are for weak insecure women who want to hang on to their man no matter what or obviously for those in whose society it occurs in and is considered the norm, even though it is permitted in Islam, the vast majority of muslims DO NOT practice it.

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09-11-2006, 08:10 AM #27
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Originally Posted by Laila
JD

Do you seriously think there is no anguish, hurt and jealousy in a polygamous relationship?

On the contrary little girl, it takes a very strong woman to deal with polygamy, something you will never be…. now run along and go eat your bacon and ham sandwich…

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09-11-2006, 08:15 AM #28
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Don’t answer my point again if you are unable to make an intelligent response. For some reason you think it bothers me to read the pig, bacon and ham comments, nah bother ya head sonny.

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09-11-2006, 08:48 AM #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laila
Don’t answer my point again if you are unable to make an intelligent response. For some reason you think it bothers me to read the pig, bacon and ham comments, nah bother ya head sonny.

Ofcourse it doesnt bother you, you eat it dont you? And you are what you eat…

Just another one of your inconsistencies, a pork eating, breast exposing, overly assertive feminist muslim cow. I would have more respect for your opinions if it was consistent with the faith you claim…. you’re just a babylonized muslim anyway, just as anoying as the radicals….
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09-11-2006, 09:28 AM #30
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you eat it dont you? And you are what you eat… overly assertive feminist muslim cow

Make up your mind please, am I a Muslim pig or a cow.

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you again……?
09-11-2006, 09:43 AM #31
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you again……?

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laila
Make up your mind please, am I a Muslim pig or a cow.

dats what I dont like about you… you are all three

Dearest Laila, please dont take my insults to heart, I honestly dont dislike you… just your irritating opinions…
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09-11-2006, 10:51 AM #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oneshot
I think the key issue is not the form of the marriage but the bond between a man and his children, we are lacking that seriously within the black community.

so, in certain cases, would it be more beneficial to have a polygamous (polyandrous) union where the wife has more than one husband as HL mentioned…

@HL, there are places were women have more than one husband. it happens where the population is the reverse of ours and men outnumber women…

Polyandry has occurred in Tibet (see Polyandry in Tibet), the Canadian Arctic, Zanskar, Nepal, India, Zanskar, Ladakh, Toda of South India, Nairs of Kerala, the Nymba, Nishi and Pahari of North India, and Sri Lanka. It is also encountered in some regions of Mongolia, China (especially Yunnan- the Mosuo people), and in some Subsaharan African and American indigenous communities (notably the Surui of northwestern Brazil). The Guanches, the first known inhabitants of the Canary Islands, also practiced it until their disappearance. In other societies, there are people who live in de facto polyandrous arrangements that are not recognized by the law.

Some forms of polyandry appear to be associated with a) the perceived need to retain aristocratic titles or agricultural lands within kin groups, and/or b) with frequent male absence, for long periods, from the household. As to the former variety, consider that in Tibet where the practice is particularly popular among the wealthy Sakya priestly nobility as well as poor small farmers who could ill afford to divide their small holdings. As to the latter variety, as some males return to the household, others leave for a long time, so that there is usually one husband present.

09-11-2006, 11:51 AM #33
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there is no problem w/ it.
like ALL WISE IDEAS
there are fools that see it for something else.

i personally dont see the apeal of having many women bitchin at me cause them pmsin

but it works some people.
my grandfather is the KING a that game

i got aunts and uncles that a 3-4 years younger than mi lol

im for it but only for people who respect their wives and dodn’t mistreat the idea

personally i’d just consider slick to be enuff and not want no more wifey’s

good drop jihad.
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09-11-2006, 06:11 PM #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Afrikan Herbman
personally i’d just consider slick to be enuff and not want no more wifey’s

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09-11-2006, 06:40 PM #36
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Originally Posted by Laila
Listen mate, what you think of me doesn’t really figure. It annoys you that a Muslim female can be assertive, it sort of goes against your idea of the downtrodden submissive oppressed female. You know nothing about how I practice my religion apart from the titbits I portray on here. As for being consistent with my faith, what exactly am I not doing?

Now if you’re able to format a reply without a mention of pigs, bacon, ham, cows, etc go ahead, if not, don’t bother your dreads about it.

Okay, I wont bother my dreads…..

But yu fi stop eat babylon food… the pig is unclean….
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09-11-2006, 10:11 PM #37
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Quote:
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lol this was to be a selfless act of love
the idea being you wouldn’t see it

but since you on to it
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09-11-2006, 10:24 PM #38
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I t takes strong men and women to create a balance such as this.
Unfortunately people are too logged into this European Matrix to overstand the essence of these practices.
Women in this time focus too much on competing with men and believe it is justified because of past injustices made unto woman kind in the past.
Most AFRICKAN men do not have a strong male principle set as far as traditions and AFRIKANESS.
So in this modern world we are forced to adopt European principles which are a direct opposite of what we have done from ANCIENT TIMES.
We as the young and “liberated” live in a dual society where our culture as Afrikans is seen as backward and primitave versus the modern greek based EURO society.
Babylon in this time having created instability in our society using the Lynch methods which has almost erased our story,culture and livity

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09-11-2006, 10:51 PM #39
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Fi real Ghetto yout…. we so babylonized dat we hate our own customs even though we still cant properly fit into the white man’s ways.

Our principles and values are so out of whack that most negros see the white guys ways as the only or best way, quick to dismiss eons of traditions in favor of hedonism and sodomy i.e. white culture….

Exactly my point !

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09-12-2006, 07:55 AM #41
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ghetto_yout
I t takes strong men and women to create a balance such as this.
Unfortunately people are too logged into this European Matrix to overstand the essence of these practices.
Women in this time focus too much on competing with men and believe it is justified because of past injustices made unto woman kind in the past.
Most AFRICKAN men do not have a strong male principle set as far as traditions and AFRIKANESS.
So in this modern world we are forced to adopt European principles which are a direct opposite of what we have done from ANCIENT TIMES.
We as the young and “liberated” live in a dual society where our culture as Afrikans is seen as backward and primitave versus the modern greek based EURO society.
Babylon in this time having created instability in our society using the Lynch methods which has almost erased our story,culture and livity

All valid points, but what is your stance on polygamy?

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09-12-2006, 10:09 AM #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UrbanRoundtable
so, in certain cases, would it be more beneficial to have a polygamous (polyandrous) union where the wife has more than one husband as HL mentioned…

@HL, there are places were women have more than one husband. it happens where the population is the reverse of ours and men outnumber women…

One must remember in this societies marriage is also used as a form of population control, 1 woman 9 husbands .. one child a year, 1 man 9 wives - well 9 children a year (at least), when it comes to black people we talking bout fixing the family structure so that it supports the growth of a young black baby to a culturally responsible comtributing member of society

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09-12-2006, 04:57 PM #43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oneshot
One must remember in this societies marriage is also used as a form of population control, 1 woman 9 husbands .. one child a year, 1 man 9 wives - well 9 children a year (at least), when it comes to black people we talking bout fixing the family structure so that it supports the growth of a young black baby to a culturally responsible comtributing member of society

so would you conclude that polyandrous relationships would be more effective for the black community than monogamous or polygamous ones? here, the children would have the support of mommy and several daddies. how could a child go wrong?

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09-12-2006, 09:03 PM #44
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so would you conclude that polyandrous relationships would be more effective for the black community than monogamous or polygamous ones? here, the children would have the support of mommy and several daddies. how could a child go wrong?

i dont believe polygamous or polyandrous relationships.

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09-13-2006, 02:39 AM #45
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i dont believe polygamous or polyandrous relationships.

you dont have to believe in something to know its worth…

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09-13-2006, 03:03 AM #46
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Polygamous marriage were practice to help poor women 2 live, that y it was most of da time practiced by kings, leaders,rich mans…

So I do beleive in polygamy only if u a rich man that can treat all ur women equal. so it must be practice in a right way.

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09-13-2006, 07:26 AM #47
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If I want to disagree with parts of MY religion, I will and I personally DO NOT ACCEPT polygamy.

even if yu poor and the only way make ur kids live is 2 marry a rich man ?

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09-13-2006, 04:36 PM #54
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it is the duty of a muslim man to marry more than one if he can ,,,,,treat them equal……….but if the woman dont allow it you cant………….

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09-13-2006, 06:34 PM #55
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First of all, it aint YOUR religion…. second, no one says you have to agree with polygamy but if you’re gonna disagree with Islam stop claiming you are muslim, you are a heretic….. and fast becoming an infidel…. definately a Jezebel already…

The way I practice my religion is dear to ME. As for the polygamy issue, how many Muslims actually practice this?. If they were to AGREE with it, surely it would be the norm within Islam for every Muslim male to have 4 - 5 wifes. In retrospect the VAST MAJORITY do not practice it, so does this, therefore, mean that they disagree with this part of the teaching? The same goes for the veil, not all female muslims choose to veil, this is at odds with the interpretation of the passage in the Quran. This, therefore, shows that NOT ALL MUSLIMS are blind followers and choose what is important to them.

As for Jezebel, care to expand?

Quote:
Ignorance, disrespect, profanity, childishness, blasphemy and the list could go on but point is already made…

Oh dear
blasphemy!! he cries, Jesus Dread you are not an Imam from Iran, you simply cannot issue a fatwa. Where exactly have I been blasphenous and about what? WHAT POINT HAS BEEN MADE ALREADY, PRAY DO TELL ? As for the rest, who can be more childish than a chubby pastor photoshopping pigs?

Quote:
See what I mean…. them disses would earn you a propper flogging in the market square in Pakistan….. aint it sweet living in and acting like babylon?

Pakistan is not Saudi.
Plenty of non-religious people speaking out there.
Big Clap for Musharraf!
Whoppee!

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09-13-2006, 06:36 PM #56
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it is the duty of a muslim man to marry more than one if he can ,,,,,treat them equal……….but if the woman dont allow it you cant………….

You don’t say.

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09-13-2006, 06:38 PM #57
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alwash00
even if yu poor and the only way make ur kids live is 2 marry a rich man ?

Well I wouldn’t have kids would I without wedlock if I was a good muslim female.

No, I don’t play second fiddle to anyone. There are plenty of muslim females the world over who are poor and have NOT resorted to polygamy.

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09-13-2006, 06:39 PM #58
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Truss mi Taliman, culturally and morally, mi a more muslim than Laila….

ermmmm
NOPE
Impossible.
Stick to Jesus your saviour.

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09-13-2006, 07:39 PM #59
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WHAT HAPPENED TO ANSWERING THE ORIGINAL QUESTION OF THE THREAD?

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09-13-2006, 07:41 PM #60
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as for the polygamy issue i hear you that not many people practise it ?
WELL THE PROPHET OF GOD ENCOURAGED IT (IF YOU HAD THE MEANS)

who is jesusdread to talk to you?
WELL HE IS AHLE KITHAB (IS HE NOT?)

musharraf and iran to you might be a big thing but to me there nothing ?

whos talking about out of wedlock ?
IF THERE IS A WOMAN WHO IS A WIDOW(FOR EXAMPLE) WITH FOUR KIDS AND A MUSLIM MAN WHO HAS GOT ONE WIFE AND NUFF MONEY ……………………………HE SHOULD TAKE ON HER AS WIFE NO.2 AND TREAT HER AS EQUAL TO NO.1

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09-14-2006, 02:20 PM #61
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laila
The way I practice my religion is dear to ME. As for the polygamy issue, how many Muslims actually practice this?. If they were to AGREE with it, surely it would be the norm within Islam for every Muslim male to have 4 - 5 wifes. In retrospect the VAST MAJORITY do not practice it, so does this, therefore, mean that they disagree with this part of the teaching? The same goes for the veil, not all female muslims choose to veil, this is at odds with the interpretation of the passage in the Quran. This, therefore, shows that NOT ALL MUSLIMS are blind followers and choose what is important to them.

Why does a follower have to be blind just because they adhere to the teachings of Quran?

Multiple marriages are not a requirement but a privilage, so it is not surprising that all muslims would not be in polygamous relationships, not everyone drives a car but that doesn’t mean cars are wrong. That’s what irritates me anbout your thinking/reasoning, you have tunnel vision. Stop trying so hard to be so close minded and look around, read some history books, look at life through nature’s eyes and stop restricting yourself to man made rules.

Quote:
As for Jezebel, care to expand?

Jezebel was a woman who became queen in Israel through treachery and gave men a hard time, basically a bitch..

Quote:
Oh dear
blasphemy!! he cries, Jesus Dread you are not an Imam from Iran, you simply cannot issue a fatwa. Where exactly have I been blasphenous and about what? WHAT POINT HAS BEEN MADE ALREADY, PRAY DO TELL ? As for the rest, who can be more childish than a chubby pastor photoshopping pigs?

Quite funny indeed that you of all people would try and call anyone chubby… the cow that you are!!!

But yes, I do photoshop pigs and you are epitome of all pigs which explains why I photochopped you..

Quote:
Pakistan is not Saudi.
Plenty of non-religious people speaking out there.
Big Clap for Musharraf!
Whoppee!

Whooptideedoo, you are Pakistani and not Saudi so what’s your point? Plus they still flog retches like you in Pakistan, any man can walk up to your tit revealing butt and whip the fool outa you and no one would utter a word of displeasure….
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09-14-2006, 05:27 PM #62
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Quote:
Why does a follower have to be blind just because they adhere to the teachings of Quran?

The Quran advises that you question and seek further knowledge.

As regards to it not being a requirement, polygamy is certainly condoned, which is enough for anyone who wishes to practice it. Don’t be so patronising, he who can’t see beyond his own faith.

As for the rest of your post, I’m not being a party to your continual effort to make jibes at me under the guise of debate.

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“SINGER AKON PRACTICES POLYGAMY?” FROM RACIALICIOUS.COM

Yeye Akilimali Funua Olade — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:12:07 +0000

from racialicious.com

Singer Akon practices polygamy?
by Carmen Van Kerckhove

I’m not sure if this is for real, but according to Vibe Confidential:

Today my homegirl and co-worker, Hot 97 host Angie Martinez spoke to Akon about relationships. Akon, who recently released a single with Eminem, explained that as an African (Ak’ is from a very prominent music family in Senegal) he believes in polygamy. His father had four wives, all of whom he considers “Mom”.

It also turns out that Akon has taken up a Senegalese lifestyle here, because after a little hesitation, the singer-producer admitted that he has his own multi-monogamous household going down in the ATL!

Cause you know, all Africans believe in polygamy. Anyway, supposedly Miss Info has the scoop over at her Celebrity Drama Podcast on the Hot97 web site. But with no show descriptions, I have no idea which episode is the relevant one.

Comments
mamazilla wrote:

this just reminded me that coetzee’s novel “disgrace” is being made into a film with john malkovich cast as david lurie - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0445953/

if i remember correctly, in the novel ( set in post apartheid south africa) lurie’s daughter enters into a polygamist marriage with her neighbor.

Posted 29 Sep 2006 at 11:35 am ¶

dcase wrote:

Despite its illegality, polygamy is quite rampant in Utah and other Western states. There seems to be an apprehension among the authorities to go after them. I wonder why? Hmm…it is possible that Ruby Ridge and Waco have something to do with that. Maybe Akon should move out there. On the other hand, they might not be so patient with him and his ilk. Recall what happened in Philly.

Posted 29 Sep 2006 at 3:59 pm ¶

Kevin wrote:

That’s what I’m talking about! lol. Go, Akon!

Posted 01 Oct 2006 at 1:45 pm ¶

monique wrote:

IT ISNT LAWFUL IN CHRISTIANITY TO BE POLYGAMOUS. AKON IS MUSLIM. SO ITS OK FOR HIM TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE WIFE.
ALOT OF BLACKS NEED TO LEARN TO THINK FOR THEMSELVES INSTEAD OF FOLLOWING WHAT SUPERSTARS ARE DOING. I BET NOT ONE OF U THOUGHT ABOUT HOW THE WOMAN WOULD FEEL THAT THE MAN KEEPS TAKEING UP DIFFERENT WIVES. I BET THAT SLIPPED ALOT YOUR MINDS.

Posted 09 Oct 2006 at 12:14 pm ¶

Joyel wrote:

First of all, polygamy has its bad side also.(directed to the person who thought polygamy is good for the African American community, psh). If you’ve ever even talked to anyone who is in a polygamous relationship, rather than just watching a television show or using your own personal desires. It’s not all dandilions and dumplin’s.
Its very hard in polygamy to treat EVERY wife fairly. If you have 5 wives, you need to give 5 wives the same thing. You also need to provide a bedroom for each wife because most beds can only support 2 people sleeping within it. Also, even if there were a bed for five wives there’d be an argument about which wife sleeps next to the husband b.c if one gets to sleep next to the husband and the other doesn’t–that’s not fair. Also, along with a bedroom for each wife, there is a bedroom for the children. And if you have 7+ children–that would be a lot of bedrooms. So obviously you would need to be very rich for supporting a polygamous relationship. Believe me, I know because my uncle is in a polygamist relationship (of which he isn’t following the rules to it because he’s not treating his wives fairly). And he told my grandfather why he couldn’t let all 3 of his wives visit us at the same time:

they were all jealous of each other. (Apparently) I can imagine that deep down inside without saying it; each woman has their own jealousies. Also, have we forgot about polyandry???? (hmm, many of you may not know what that means. The woman is so looked down upon in this society is sickening. Learn something– search the word. You’d find nothing but a mere definition for it. Search polygamy, you have 1000’s of sites on it. A little bit unfair, don’t you think? I think that if polygamy is allowed than polyandry should be allowed. (also, polygamy means a plural marriage– it’s not even a word which means 1 man and several wives. But since the man rules, polygamy has been kind of adopted to that meaning).

Men have to think about the times of today and the feelings of women. Children aren’t everything. And anyway, the more population, the more at a loss we are. That’s why I’m determined not to have any children, or any husband(s) in my lifetime. I think its a waste of my time that needn’t be bothered with. Instead I rather help with the children that are already suffering and on earth (by adopting them) rather than getting with a man and having 4 other sister wives to create more children.

My opinion. It’s a long one. Enjoy

Posted 12 Oct 2006 at 10:17 pm ¶

Ann wrote:

Great post, Joyel.

There is an asian country, I’m not sure if it is Nepal or Tibet, where one woman marries all the brothers in a family. That is one type of polyandry.

Polyandry would be better, as there would be much LESS humans in the world, but it would be hard to get more than one man to agree to polyandry, as it already impossible to get them to agree to MONOGAMY!

Eli Rothblatt.

Having numerous children just for the sake of numbers is not only cruel to the children but downright stupid. There is not strength in numbers.

There is strength in bringing children into the world who are WANTED AND APPRECIATED.

Laying up and grinding out infant after infant with numerous females is something that dogs, bulls and stallions do. And they are animals ( and my humblest apologies to all the animals out there I may have offended.)

And as to the black communtity pumping out more babies and taking on polygamy; that disgraceful immoral behaviour is already going on in the so-called “man-sharing” that some black women are doing.

No man is worth that heartache, disease or psychological trauma.

The human race has bred enough like rats and roaches.

Besides, it can get very expensive building all those bedrooms onto the house.

Posted 12 Oct 2006 at 11:40 pm ¶

Joyel wrote:

Greater post, Ann!

Finally there is another woman in this world who thinks such as I does. For the most part, I’m running into women who can see themselves in that kind of relationship. The relationships doesn’t even make sense in this society now as it is (to be honest). There is so much jealousy that goes into it. And men…think about treating every woman fairly! With every little thing, down to the clothes in their wardrobe to the quality time you spend with each one.

It’s also drastic to think about why polygamy may have risen in the first place in this world. Back then, more wives meant more children, more children meant more availiable workers on the field, more avaliable workers on the field meant more food on the plate and more money! So obviously it would have been sensible to be in a polygamous relationship, just to survive BUT that was long ago.

Now look at a polygamous relationship in 2006; more wives means more children, more children means more clothes, beds, and food. More clothes, beds and food means you need more money. So would it make sense to even start a polygamous relationship when even the monogamous ones are hard to financially overcome? I think not, maybe it would be easier if there werent’ any child labor laws (like back then) but wipe your tears men, there are.

Even the Bible gives advice to stay away from polygamous marriages. I read one passage from the Bible in the Old Testament that explains a situation where two wives get into an dispute about inheritance. That probably happens a lot in polygamous marriages, usually they settle it through giving it to the first wife but doesn’t that also contradict the rule of treating every wife fairly??? I think so…if it doesn’t. Please speak on that.

Also, if polygamy was allowed: think about the competition that would arise from it. Look at the Morman polygamists in Utah, you already have them throwing teen boys out into a deserted area to die so they can get more women to marry. Thankfully, usually the ‘lost boys of polygamy’ (search it) don’t die but they do have a HUGE new outlook on the aspects of polygamy. Better believe it…

Also, why create more children when you can help the children already suffering. In my point of view, I see that as really selfish. We already have a problem, why create a new one?

So my question is:

Why, oh why, is polygamy STILL needed?

Posted 13 Oct 2006 at 3:55 pm ¶

Adina wrote:

Akon is just getting publicity for himself by bringing up the practice of polgyamy. In this American hiphop culture, the pimp and player character are very prevalent and accepted. So, this is another way for Akon to display from his roots “the player” and his original pimpology as an African.

I guess he is doing more good then harm, but only time will tell. Definitely, go to his website, and see for yourself. The main video on his site is him and his wife travelling to South Africa and maybe a bit of Senegal and being welcomed over there. Also, definitely watch the “Pot of Gold” video he has. It is a very wise view of the history of racism, and where we are today.

If you didn’t already know, Senegal’s president Abdoulaye Wade who is 81 years old is married to Viviane Wade, a white Christian from France and they’ve been married for more than 50 years.
http://www.akononline.com

Posted 29 Oct 2006 at 10:18 am ¶

#1Queen of Chicago wrote:

Wow, I am in complete shock guys because I have just found out yesterday that my “drop dead gorgeous” Jamaican guyfrom FL. that I met in person in ‘05 and I have been talking to (long distance for a min.) currently believes/practices/and lives in a polygamous lifestyle and has maybe 1-2 wives/women and two beautiful daughters by I guess his 1st wife. Listenb-4 yall start snapping off, we were only really good-good friends so its not like he cheated on me, ok. He is such a handsome loving young guy, I can not say one bad thing about him period so far,… but now today I am “frozen in time” like woah hold up you’ve just dropped a tone of info on me, I’m like woah-woah back up a bit, ya know…because of course I am a young beautiful African American(lil on the spoiled side especially in the man dept, one of chi-towns finest, if you no what I mean, holla somebody!), Christian girl, highly educated w/2 degrees, etc,… and just when I thought I found a winner, a great catch, a great Jamaican guy/blackman…I slowly but surely find out that 2 other women also think that he is a great guy bec. they’ve got 2 him b-4 I did,of course. My life continues to get exciting I need to write a book about the things that I encounter, which is why I love to travel and meet new people. But, I really have to catch myself fast bec. I have to be honest with you guys, I’m considering it bec. I really like him, he is fineass hell, a hard worker, a great provider, communicator, friend and lover (meaning he stresses love of family, doing the right things in life to have a good and prosperous life and future here in America). We have already been discussing children&marriage etc.,prior to me finding this out,… (actually the 2nd day after we met he sort of mentioned it but I just thought it was a cute gesture, nothing serious but surprise he was dead serious) I do not have children yet and I’d always considered him as my baby father bec. of his honesty, charming personality, humor, intellect, masculinity, etc… and I know he is a great father, he loves children. He wants a son now and more children with me in the future and he wants me to live in FL. with the family. I need some insight fast bec. I know my mother, grandmother, aunts, uncles and family would probably kill me for even considering it bec. God knows that I wasn’t raised that way.

Hey, but just keeping it real, there is a lot of “man sharing”, “baby’s daddy”, “babymamas”, “numerous single families by one male” that is prevalent in the hood/African American culture and even other cultures and has been done in secretcy as well as broad open daylight, it appears to mirror a similar a design/ trend of polygamy, not to say that that it is right, but I am just saying, whose to say these days. Personally, I never thought that I would have came across this issue in Oct.31,2006 but it has been revealed to me that polygamy still exists on the downlow. My Jamaican guy stressed the importance of one love in the family, financial support and structure and order in the household and he basically wants to know if I am “in”(meaning do I approve) so that we can go to the next step! Now, I’m left to decide if it is right for me either way he says he respects my decision…Holla at the Queen!

#1Queen of Chicago

Posted 31 Oct 2006 at 9:49 am ¶

shayla wrote:

akon you is one of my biggest fan and i really want to get to meet you. you are so fine i just can’t get my mind off of you so i’m just plannin on meeting you. please come to louisiana because this is where you have alot of friends and fans. everybody is counting on you out here. please read this as quick as you can.please write me back and let me know how you feel about this. come to opelousas at opelousas junior high school and sing for us.well i just hope you can come.
peace,love, write back.

Posted 28 Nov 2006 at 3:57 pm ¶

Anonymous wrote:

is akon a muslim

Posted 09 Dec 2006 at 5:54 am ¶

tina wrote:

All Africans do not believe in polygamy. I have been married to my husband who is African, (kenyan to be exact), for 7 years and he has no other wives. We travel to Africa often and believe it or not Africa is westernized for the most part. I just hate when people put Africans all in one boat. There are 50 different countries in Africa. These pepole are so different and for some ignorant people to say that all of them practice polygamy is so stupid. I am African American and my husband treat me so much better than any american man has. I am not trying to down american men, I am just trying to strech my point. So what if this guy has more than more wife….. is he any different from these american men who are married and sleep around on thier wives. At least the African women know that they are not the only woman in the realtionship. Don’t pass judgement on akon. He is not form here and he comes from a different culture than we do. He makes good music so let’s just stay out of his personal business. Now if he makes a fucked up album then we can bash him until then fall of of him and his wives…..if this rumor has any truth to it anyway. And people please remember that Africans are a diverse group of people and we should not put them in one category.

Posted 21 Dec 2006 at 8:08 pm ¶

bill wrote:

AKON IS A MAH FUCKIN P I M P! Let the man do what he wants as long as he and his wives are happy!

Posted 01 Feb 2007 at 4:20 pm ¶

chris wrote:

as Devin the Dude best put it: “do what the f*ck you wanna do…”

Posted 04 Feb 2007 at 4:19 am ¶

Michael wrote:

Hey dcase, 2nd comment…polygamy ISN’T quite rampant in Utah, so you know. In the mid- 1800’s yeah, not now…just so you’re aware!

Posted 08 Jul 2007 at 12:39 am ¶

Alonyah wrote:

I am glad to hear this, but if my people would understand that we are destintes from Africa and has been taught another peoples ways not our true ways. Part of our problem as a people is we have left our Power in the Old Testament as they call it.

Our families are in trouble we have more women then men more so among us because of different things in which we all know of such as prison and etc. Our families are suffering and the women are single to long, divorced and more not understanding that a man has been created to have more then one wife and this is great as long as the men be honest, truthful but because we have taken on other peoples ways this is the result. Lies and deceit and the women except that is American place is not doing anything for us as a people. So polygamy is one solution to our sitution among other things we need to do. If we women would learn to truly love each other as family should we would have best friends and a man that would make sure he loves us and takes care of his children. There is so much i would like to say on this subject and more if i am give the opportunity i feel it would be a great help to my people, the African American community. We have taken on someones elses ways and don’t know who we really are as a people.

Posted 18 Jan 2008 at 4:46 pm ¶

Tina wrote:

First i would like to say this is something that should be considered since there are so many women more than men. More so black women for our problem is much greater. We have been mislead by this Western World, we must remember that we come from our ancestor who were slaves that came from another side of the world. At one time all of the African continet and in the East have practiced this type of life style.

Now that does not men a man can just do what ever he wants and not be charged by the creator. One must be true, honest and real even thou it may cost you not to have the African American women from this side of the world. For we no nothing of our true history as a people nor do we take the time to study. It has been said put the information in a book and the majoridy of us will not read it.

Also the bible has spoken of this type of life style for a long time we must move higher as a people to show the world that we do know how to love for real mostly or women and of course our brothers need a lesson in what love is really all about. It is not just about sex even thou sex has it’s part to play. We have lost all love for each other and ourselves as a people. This can be one of the solutions to bring our families back into the strength that it should be. Women being best friends, sharing the duties of the house and also putting our finances together to grow strong. Love is a wonderful thing and people will say how can a man love more than one women it is ease for a man but a women can truely only love her man that is the way it is or she is considered a whore sorry i had to say that. This Western Place is hypocritical in so any ways and this has been from the being, we must not forget what type of place we are dealing with. Everybody can almost do what they want as long as they can help there own or you better have money. Sister’s let’s love each other as we should and build our families to greatness. If you know science the female has 2 X chromosomes and the male has a Y & a X the X chromosome is for the female and the Y is male so in the beginning our power made 3 females to 1 male and now we have a greater problem for this was and is for the development the population and it is still for us to grow now more than ever, for we are lessing and as a people. We need to show the power of love for each other male and female.

I have so much more to present but it can’t be all said at once. There are question people have and i have the answer’s try me.

Posted 18 Jan 2008 at 7:42 pm ¶

#1Queen of Chicago wrote:

First of all I would like to thank you all for your honest opinions on this subject it has helped me out a lot..

I would like to say (to Tina) that there is a major misunderstanding of African-Americans not studying, acknowledging and embracing their culture and history from Western Africa before the inception of slavery in America in the 1600’s. I want to make it known that yes I am a young African-American Woman that has embraced my culture 1000% which is why I love my people 1000%, which is why I refer to myself as a Queen because I recognize Nefetiti, Cleopatra, so many more,etc. Honey, It may not cost a man a loss of love from and African-American woman from this side of the world (as you implied in one of your statements) I make a conscious attempt to connect with my roots even though I do not know the EXACT tribe that my ancestors came from (I’m being sarcastic). I’m a little irritated by those who want to assume that African-American women are completely oblivious to there AFRICAN culture and history prior to slavery “WE ARE NOT THAT IGNORANT”. However, that does not change the fact that we are AFRICAN-AMERICANS born and raised here in America hundreds of years after the atrocities that our ancestor had to endure because of SLAVERY. I want to add that I LOVE MY PEOPLE 1000%, therefore I have and I continue to make a conscious effort to embrace all cultures of the African Diaspora because unless I have a Genealogy test done I still do not know exactly which village my ancestors lived in 450 or so years ago (I’m being sarcastic). I’ll have you know that I have a minor in African studies, I have visited Jamaica, I have studied and I can speak FRENCH(which is spoken in West Africa, West Indies etc,.) (I study and understand read and write Jamaican dialect (which is called Patios) I have a large African Art collection, I’ve frequent all Museums and African or Caribbean Festival etc. However, it will never convert me to being a women of 400 or so plus years ago in Africa (sweetheart), I’m still an African-American or Afro-American woman (whatever floats your boat ) of today and it will never change that reality. Now, I agree some people do not read, research or study much about the past of traditional ways from Africa because they are to busy struggling to make ends meet or whatever there excuse maybe and some people are closed minded to the world and or change back to African traditional ways as a solution to save our family structure and financial support system and future but that does not mean that applies to all African American people, I am not one of those people that you consider to be ignorant! I see how this is one solution that can strengthen love, trust and financial foundation in the African American culture even though it was not taught to me I have researched and discovered it on my own(I’m not Lazy,being sarcastic again, you know that stereotype that blacks are lazy) and I do understand it as an option! However, some people will argue that the Bible is against it, yes polygamy is presented it the Old Testament it was also taught that it was condemned as well by God so that is why it is different for Americans to easily adopt, as they were taught different beliefs, values and biblical principles which are obvious. But, I still feel it is up to what each individual chooses and feels is right for them if this is their case because as I said I’m in Love and it actually sees no limits or boundaries at all no matter what anyone says or beliefs to be right or wrong to me because I know in my HEART I should be with the Man that I love, whether he has 5 or more wives. Love is very powerful and a natural thing you never no when it can happen to you.
Ok now that I have addressed those misconceptions about African- American women knowledge of their history, culture and religion, I pointed out in my previous posting on 10/06 that I was presented with this option and I had communicated that I was shocked because I had just found out about his lifestyle. I was aware of this type of lifestyle in African but I was not aware of this/his lifestyle here in American. That was basically the point I was trying to make and once it was presented to me then I had to question everything, my beliefs, my upbringing, my feelings of love etc., etc., Maybe this decision would be easier for a woman that was more closely connected to this way of life but it was different for me at that time because I had just found it out. I know what LOVE is, it is just a different way of life that I was not currently accustomed to living. I had pointed out that I was open to considering it because I do understand my culture and all the dynamics of family structure etc. I had to make myself clear to you again, I do not like for others to assume that people do not read and they are ignorant and unaware so I had to address a few point that were made which I saw as being very destructive to the entire discussion. Again, my man has not lost the love of his African-American women from this side of the World because our LOVE has gotten even stronger thank you very much,so i should/will not be left behind nor will I go overlooked by my Jamaican man Honey! I am an African-American woman that understands and loves her Black men, culture and community more than we give her credit for or are willing to acknowledge her for and I was not born in Africa, nor Jamaica, I was born raised and educated in the United States of America!

Thanks Again,
#1Queen of Chicago

(I had to make some minor corrections to name in spellings sorry about it)

Posted 22 Apr 2008 at 12:54 pm ¶

Sister Yeye Olade wrote:

Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Polygamy is the fastest growing marriage system in Blackamerikkka! The Black muslims,Rastas,Black people into Yoruba religion, Ancient Egyptian religion are all doing it! I started doing what I call “Positive Polygamy” in amerikkka before I went BACK to AFRICA,Nigeria,Yorubaland with my late BLACKamerikkkan husband and am now in a polygamous situation with a Yoruba family. Believe me those of us in it can practice GOOD relationships for the Sister wives,the BLACK children and the great Black men who share fairly and squarely. Check us out at:
yeyeolade.wordpress.com
(under “Positve Polygamy” and
blackpolygamy.wordpress.com
Your Sister who went Back to Africa,30 years ago ,
Yeye Akilimali Funua Olade

Posted 28 Apr 2008 at 8:22 am ¶